Atheism and the Family

Atheism and the Deeper Needs of a Family

In considering the six constituents of a strong family already considered, atheism would seem to be able to fill in the scheduled blanks that remain when religion is removed. Reason benefits from the attempts of atheism to do so, for in atheism trying to be a religion we strike upon the deeper properties of religion that truly provide the benefits a family needs. Atheism, by its very nature, cannot feign these qualities.

Faith

The fundamental precept of atheism is the denial of faith as a principle. Atheism embraces its notion of science and the empirical method and pronounces it foolishness to believe in that which cannot be seen. This opposes the first precept of most religion, which by definition cannot scientifically and exclusively prove the existence of the power it worships. Dealing with the admittedly incorporeal nature of religious belief, atheism might seem beyond reproof for their desire to rest on visible certainty. Their choice not to believe in a god seems harmless at first. However, the implications are deeper. How can a person who denounces faith in a higher power be believed if he claims capable of placing faith –or trust-- in a fellow human? The human desires and intentions are no more corporeal than any religious claims. And those who are incapable of issuing trust are likely the first ones to admit they should not receive trust. From the moment they leave the womb children trust solely in their parent(s) for survival. What good is a parent who holds this trust in disdain?

Humility

Families function much like the society whose building blocks they are. An effective member of a family must be willing to contribute to a good greater than simply individual welfare, displaying the same sentiment coined famously by John F. Kennedy:

“ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country.”

Likewise the useful family member must be willing to bear in mind the needs of the family. This is nowhere more evident than in the roles of the parents, who could choose to end a family instantly by deciding to withhold the money that puts food in front of the children or pays for their health and education. Children, too, gradually learn the needed qualities of sharing and obedience. Not only are these precepts taught in by many religions; they are necessary to the endurance of any social unit.

Contrast this with atheism. Although the declared religion of the communism that claims equality for all, atheism must needs be fundamentally ego-centric. Without belief in a continuation of life, this life must be the end-all, be-all. Without allowance for long-term consequences for actions, atheism must find ultimate meaning in instantaneous self-gratification at a minimum of cost. This cannot be thought a healthy perspective within a family.

The Need for Unity of Belief

Many atheists are spawned from within the environments of a family of incongruous religious belief (Stokes, 2009). This reveals a truth in the nature of religious practice and the family: in order for the family to benefit from any religious activity it is very important that the activity be uniform throughout the family. Stokes finds that teenage rebellion is a considerable problem in families where parents place higher priority on the religion than on their children. Interestingly, the inverse is not true; parent-child relations are much less strained by children who are more religion-oriented than their parents, at least during the time they spend in the same household.

Atheism and the Family

Atheism for Mental Health and Structured Life

At first sight, atheists have no reason to tie the afore-mentioned six elements of a strong family to religion. What practice can religion provide that the “Free Thinker,” as many atheists like to refer to themselves, can't find an alternative for? If the assumption remains that religion is for the stupid and invites a type of ignorance, it would seem that atheism must be the superior alternative for mental health. To this end medical studies have been conducted, testing the resilience of atheists in critical situations. One such study, examining subjects suffering depression, found that atheists are at considerably more risk to attempt suicide when depressed than are faithful and religious subjects in similarly distressed states (Dervic, 2004). This indicates that atheists may suffer from the absence of context and meaning that religion can provide. While atheists may not reach states of depression more frequently than others, this fact must rule out the possibility that atheism in any way improves mental health.

The structure of organized religion, with its worship services and rote practices, can be offensive to a Free Thinker. Nonetheless, it seems that this is of use to children, who benefit from having set structures in which they can grow. In a presentation given at the 2001 World Family Policy Forum professionals asserted that children have a right to traditions, which will give them depth and perspective to their lives and a cloak of emotional stability (The Howard Center for Family). Atheists who wish to avoid religious traditions will need to draw on family traditions, which likely have roots in earlier religious practices, or create their own observances. In either case it is ironic that the atheist who refuses religious traditions would feel no qualm about peddling traditions of his own.

Atheism and the Family

Atheism for Parents

The connection of religion to family has been well observed in studies; neither seems able to change independent of the other (Thornton, 1985) . For this reason it is important that parents consider the effects of making atheism the religion of the home. While they hope to remove ill effects or beliefs from the household, they cannot help but bring other influences in.

Parents who seek to remove strife from the home might have fled from religiously stifling atmospheres themselves and wish to avoid imposing this on their children. They have a bad taste in their mouth from whatever religion they grew up around. Atheists frequently draw on the example of religious strife throughout the ages as an example that religion is innately bad. If this is mindset of parents, however, they might do well to take a closer look at the facts. Gregory Koukl reveals that for the hundreds of thousands who have died as a result of Christianity, whose crusades and inquisitions are one of the most frequently quoted examples of religious evil, those declaring atheism have been responsible for over 156 million deaths (Koukl, 1994). Many millions of these murders have been committed far more recently than any crusades or witch-trials. Those who use Christianity's darker moments in history as proof of its evil had better think twice on the 390-to-1 ratio touted by those who deny a higher power.

Now, it is silly to use such extreme examples when talking about the individual family. But these are the sort of examples many atheists have used to saturate the American with anti-religious sentiment. Better reasons might be touted by atheists whose qualms are closer to home: hypocritical church-goers in their past, or stifling religious practices in their own childhood. By verbally or practically declaring atheism they are stating that they were personally victimized by someone else's religion and are now enacting a boycott on belief-systems in general. But before the atheist parent blames religion for strife in the world or rebellion in the home they had better consider the whole picture. Just what is religion being replaced with?

Many atheists seem to believe that by replacing belief with disbelief—for, as one journalist put it, this is the only characteristic atheists share in common with each other—they are replacing ignorance with logical certainty. “Strong Atheists” go so far as to decree that teaching children about a god is superstition akin to belief in bogey-men and ghosts. Because atheism is the unspoken norm assumed to provide precious objectivity to modern scientists, many atheists consider it to allow greater room for intelligence. Yet again they seem to ignore the facts of history. Facts such as that the greatest discoveries in history, including the invention of the printing press, the discovery and, later, the founding of America, and the Theory of Relativity, were made by those openly professing their belief in God. Dare they tell Columbus, or Einstein, that religion robs independent thought? Who are they hoping their kids will emulate? No, intelligence is not incompatible with religion.

Atheism and the Family

Introduction: Roots of Atheism

In the beginning, religious lifestyles are avoided for either of two principle reasons. Fault may be found within the doctrine of a religion, offending the intellect of the atheist; or fault may be found with the practitioners. Thus faulted practitioners may be personal acquaintances of the atheist or may be historical fixtures of the sort that implemented Crusades, Jihads, Witch Trials and Inquisitions. Sometimes the latter is also manifest as a simple disdain for the effort felt necessary by Believers. Eventually this decision and feeling is passed on to the children of the deliberately un-practicing atheist and, wittingly or not, atheism becomes the religion of a family. As any religion factors into family life, what are the effects of an atheistic lifestyle on a family?

Mormonism: Warm and Supporting Relationships

Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
Warm and supporting relationships between the parent and child are necessary for a strong family. Mormonism is a great religion to practice because there is so much emphasis placed on families supporting one another. For example, in 1995, the LDS leaders published a document called The Family: A Proclamation to the World in which this type of support is outlined to its members:
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.[i]
In addition to informing the members about having these warm and supportive relationships, the church will help you achieve it. Each congregation has a Bishop, or leader that is available to give ecclesiastical advice and counseling. This type of loving relationship will be developed as your family spends quality time together during family prayer and scripture study. Children will trust you more because they will get to know you better. As you share activities, like going on the church sponsored father and sons campouts, you will have many opportunities to talk with your children and listen to their struggles.
Mormonism is one of many great religions to practice as a family because it will create a stronger family. With all the benefits that this religion provides, why would you want to try and create a strong family the hard way by not practicing a unified set of beliefs? Mormonism helps your family develop the six characteristics that define a strong family. It may be a huge lifestyle change to start practicing a religion, but the ability to be a strong loving family outweighs any cost.
[i] http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html

Mormonism: Monitoring, supervision, and involvement

Monitoring, supervision, and involvement
A strong family is involved with each other’s lives and there is supervision and monitoring. With Mormonism, the parents are able to be involved in their child’s life and make sure they are making the right decisions. But isn’t too much supervision a negative thing because it may push a child away? Children do need room to breathe, which makes Mormonism more appealing because you are not the lone monitor, but rather have many others to help supervise your children. The religion is volunteer based which means that the practitioners have “callings,” or volunteer responsibilities. This is so valuable to creating a strong family because children will have other adults who they can turn to for help and guidance. For example, there is a calling where a man is in charge of the youth group activities for teenage boys. This man will be able to supervise your child and help him make important life decisions. Similar programs are put in place for children and teenage girls. Research has shown that one of the greatest difficulties to having a strong family is divided beliefs. Professor’s Stokes and Regnerus from the Department of Sociology at the University of Texas concluded in their research that “When parents value religion more than their teens do, adolescents tend to report poorer relations with parents.”[i] These youth groups with their additional mentors will help your children discover their own beliefs, and together your family will share not only the same eye and hair colors, but a spiritual knowledge that will create a lasting bond.
[i] http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WX8-4SWXDCJ-1&_user=10&_coverDate=03%2F31%2F2009&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=cb3af825914c7d7daf0dee1c175206da

Mormonism: Communication and praise

Communication and praise
A strong family has good communication and praise. Being an active Mormon will help your family develop these characteristics. The LDS church has several programs which provide opportunities for you to show your approval and praise for children. Starting at a young age, children in grade school can work towards earning religious awards that demonstrate their knowledge and application of gospel beliefs. During their teenage years, the church provides Boy Scouts of America groups where men can work towards earning merit badges. Women also have an award which they earn as they demonstrate values (like faith, virtue, knowledge etc) important to maturing into womanhood. The church holds recognition ceremonies for both of these achievements. Mormonism is such a great lifestyle because by providing these opportunities, positive praise can be expressed. You will be nourishing and strengthening your relationship with your children.
Is practicing a religion the only way to develop good communication and praise? You could still put your kids in Boy Scouts and other extracurricular activities that will result in helping your children know of the love and praise you have for them. However, practicing Mormons enjoy these benefits with little additional cost. You could send your child to a summer camp and end up spending hundreds of dollars. Or, as a Mormon, your child can go to the church sponsored youth camps where they still do extremely fun activities, but without the bank breaking cost. Another benefit to your children is that they will be interacting in these extracurricular activities with children from the local congregation. This will make it easier for them to make friends who share the same religious and moral values.