Atheism and the Family

Conclusion

Atheism encompasses the alternative to religious lifestyle in a family. While it can offer activities to fulfill any of the superficial needs of a successful family, the stance it takes by denying universal religious precepts is inherently contrary to the needs of a strong family. While atheism declares little as a common doctrine, the common doctrine of disbelief contains deep enough implications to invalidate either passive (“weak”) atheism or active (“strong”) atheism as a sensible alternative to religion as a family lifestyle. The precepts of a successful family that have been so far considered, mental health, the need of a child for structure and routine, time spent together as a family, involvement with the children, and warm relationships, each require that atheists step away from the core themes they proclaim to follow. These elements of a successful family are founded on the deeper concepts of faith and humility that do not fit within the natural atheist mindset.

Atheism and the Family

Atheism and the Deeper Needs of a Family

In considering the six constituents of a strong family already considered, atheism would seem to be able to fill in the scheduled blanks that remain when religion is removed. Reason benefits from the attempts of atheism to do so, for in atheism trying to be a religion we strike upon the deeper properties of religion that truly provide the benefits a family needs. Atheism, by its very nature, cannot feign these qualities.

Faith

The fundamental precept of atheism is the denial of faith as a principle. Atheism embraces its notion of science and the empirical method and pronounces it foolishness to believe in that which cannot be seen. This opposes the first precept of most religion, which by definition cannot scientifically and exclusively prove the existence of the power it worships. Dealing with the admittedly incorporeal nature of religious belief, atheism might seem beyond reproof for their desire to rest on visible certainty. Their choice not to believe in a god seems harmless at first. However, the implications are deeper. How can a person who denounces faith in a higher power be believed if he claims capable of placing faith –or trust-- in a fellow human? The human desires and intentions are no more corporeal than any religious claims. And those who are incapable of issuing trust are likely the first ones to admit they should not receive trust. From the moment they leave the womb children trust solely in their parent(s) for survival. What good is a parent who holds this trust in disdain?

Humility

Families function much like the society whose building blocks they are. An effective member of a family must be willing to contribute to a good greater than simply individual welfare, displaying the same sentiment coined famously by John F. Kennedy:

“ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country.”

Likewise the useful family member must be willing to bear in mind the needs of the family. This is nowhere more evident than in the roles of the parents, who could choose to end a family instantly by deciding to withhold the money that puts food in front of the children or pays for their health and education. Children, too, gradually learn the needed qualities of sharing and obedience. Not only are these precepts taught in by many religions; they are necessary to the endurance of any social unit.

Contrast this with atheism. Although the declared religion of the communism that claims equality for all, atheism must needs be fundamentally ego-centric. Without belief in a continuation of life, this life must be the end-all, be-all. Without allowance for long-term consequences for actions, atheism must find ultimate meaning in instantaneous self-gratification at a minimum of cost. This cannot be thought a healthy perspective within a family.

The Need for Unity of Belief

Many atheists are spawned from within the environments of a family of incongruous religious belief (Stokes, 2009). This reveals a truth in the nature of religious practice and the family: in order for the family to benefit from any religious activity it is very important that the activity be uniform throughout the family. Stokes finds that teenage rebellion is a considerable problem in families where parents place higher priority on the religion than on their children. Interestingly, the inverse is not true; parent-child relations are much less strained by children who are more religion-oriented than their parents, at least during the time they spend in the same household.

Atheism and the Family

Atheism for Mental Health and Structured Life

At first sight, atheists have no reason to tie the afore-mentioned six elements of a strong family to religion. What practice can religion provide that the “Free Thinker,” as many atheists like to refer to themselves, can't find an alternative for? If the assumption remains that religion is for the stupid and invites a type of ignorance, it would seem that atheism must be the superior alternative for mental health. To this end medical studies have been conducted, testing the resilience of atheists in critical situations. One such study, examining subjects suffering depression, found that atheists are at considerably more risk to attempt suicide when depressed than are faithful and religious subjects in similarly distressed states (Dervic, 2004). This indicates that atheists may suffer from the absence of context and meaning that religion can provide. While atheists may not reach states of depression more frequently than others, this fact must rule out the possibility that atheism in any way improves mental health.

The structure of organized religion, with its worship services and rote practices, can be offensive to a Free Thinker. Nonetheless, it seems that this is of use to children, who benefit from having set structures in which they can grow. In a presentation given at the 2001 World Family Policy Forum professionals asserted that children have a right to traditions, which will give them depth and perspective to their lives and a cloak of emotional stability (The Howard Center for Family). Atheists who wish to avoid religious traditions will need to draw on family traditions, which likely have roots in earlier religious practices, or create their own observances. In either case it is ironic that the atheist who refuses religious traditions would feel no qualm about peddling traditions of his own.

Atheism and the Family

Atheism for Parents

The connection of religion to family has been well observed in studies; neither seems able to change independent of the other (Thornton, 1985) . For this reason it is important that parents consider the effects of making atheism the religion of the home. While they hope to remove ill effects or beliefs from the household, they cannot help but bring other influences in.

Parents who seek to remove strife from the home might have fled from religiously stifling atmospheres themselves and wish to avoid imposing this on their children. They have a bad taste in their mouth from whatever religion they grew up around. Atheists frequently draw on the example of religious strife throughout the ages as an example that religion is innately bad. If this is mindset of parents, however, they might do well to take a closer look at the facts. Gregory Koukl reveals that for the hundreds of thousands who have died as a result of Christianity, whose crusades and inquisitions are one of the most frequently quoted examples of religious evil, those declaring atheism have been responsible for over 156 million deaths (Koukl, 1994). Many millions of these murders have been committed far more recently than any crusades or witch-trials. Those who use Christianity's darker moments in history as proof of its evil had better think twice on the 390-to-1 ratio touted by those who deny a higher power.

Now, it is silly to use such extreme examples when talking about the individual family. But these are the sort of examples many atheists have used to saturate the American with anti-religious sentiment. Better reasons might be touted by atheists whose qualms are closer to home: hypocritical church-goers in their past, or stifling religious practices in their own childhood. By verbally or practically declaring atheism they are stating that they were personally victimized by someone else's religion and are now enacting a boycott on belief-systems in general. But before the atheist parent blames religion for strife in the world or rebellion in the home they had better consider the whole picture. Just what is religion being replaced with?

Many atheists seem to believe that by replacing belief with disbelief—for, as one journalist put it, this is the only characteristic atheists share in common with each other—they are replacing ignorance with logical certainty. “Strong Atheists” go so far as to decree that teaching children about a god is superstition akin to belief in bogey-men and ghosts. Because atheism is the unspoken norm assumed to provide precious objectivity to modern scientists, many atheists consider it to allow greater room for intelligence. Yet again they seem to ignore the facts of history. Facts such as that the greatest discoveries in history, including the invention of the printing press, the discovery and, later, the founding of America, and the Theory of Relativity, were made by those openly professing their belief in God. Dare they tell Columbus, or Einstein, that religion robs independent thought? Who are they hoping their kids will emulate? No, intelligence is not incompatible with religion.