Islam is unfortunately linked to violence in some people’s minds. A large degree of violence in any form is a major weakening factor for any family. Violence even supersedes or prevents the majority of the six indicators of family strengths discussed in relation to Islam. Fortunately, violence is not a part of true Islam. Yes, Islam does teach protecting ones family forcefully if necessary and other things that may be connoted as violent, however terrorist activities such as suicide bombings don’t stem from the true following of these teachings. An excellent discussion of this was presented by HARUN YAHYA in his article entitled “Islam is Not the Source of Terrorism, But it’s Solution”
“In the Western world today, there are still cruel, mischievous and opposing elements as well as a culture dominated by peaceful and just elements that have its roots in Judeo-Christian faith. As a matter of fact, the main disagreement is not between the West and Islam. Contrary to the general opinion, it is between the religious people of the West and of the Muslim world on the one hand, and the people opposing religion…” http://www.islamdenouncesterrorism.com/mainarticle.html
Islamic parental Supervision and Support
Monitoring, supervision, and involvement
“When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.”
Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
“Adolescents with these types of relationships are less likely to be suspended from school, are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems, and are less likely to abuse substances.”[1]
Islam directs parents to help their children achieve their potential. “It is the foremost duty of parents to arrange…….. so that they[their children] grow satisfactorily, develop their potential, express their abilities, become virtuous human being, a good citizen, and an ideal member of the society” http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family2.html To follow through with their duty to help their children express their abilities a parent would of course need to support the expression of those abilities. To insure that their children become virtuous beings the parent would be involved in the child’s life monitoring how they behave so as to be able to determine where they need to encourage them more.
Any child would appreciate having supportive parents. As many non-religious parents are supportive what difference does it make whether a family is religious or not? This topic alone could be discussed in great length. One reason that the religious involvement helps more is that the parents in turn have a support network within the religion and have been show by example how to be supportive. And although it is also true that some religious families aren’t supportive for the most part these aren’t fully living their religion.
“When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.”
Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
“Adolescents with these types of relationships are less likely to be suspended from school, are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems, and are less likely to abuse substances.”[1]
Islam directs parents to help their children achieve their potential. “It is the foremost duty of parents to arrange…….. so that they[their children] grow satisfactorily, develop their potential, express their abilities, become virtuous human being, a good citizen, and an ideal member of the society” http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family2.html To follow through with their duty to help their children express their abilities a parent would of course need to support the expression of those abilities. To insure that their children become virtuous beings the parent would be involved in the child’s life monitoring how they behave so as to be able to determine where they need to encourage them more.
Any child would appreciate having supportive parents. As many non-religious parents are supportive what difference does it make whether a family is religious or not? This topic alone could be discussed in great length. One reason that the religious involvement helps more is that the parents in turn have a support network within the religion and have been show by example how to be supportive. And although it is also true that some religious families aren’t supportive for the most part these aren’t fully living their religion.
Communication in Islam
Communication and praise
“Positive communication (being warm, respectful and interested in a child's opinions) is associated with the well-being of children.”
“Adolescents who have parents that use praise and who go to their parents for advice are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems.”[1]
Studies have demonstrated that there is a strong link between religion and family. Part of a larger UNC-based National Study of Youth and Religion, revealed significant statistical links between religion and family ties. http://www.unc.edu/news/archives/may03/smith050703.html The report for this study goes on to explain many positive effects of religion. Communication in family is heavily dependent on family ties. A family that is tied together in their faith have additional opportunities to talk with one another. In addition to the matters of their everyday lives that they have to talk about there is the mutual topic of their common faith. As mentioned elsewhere when talking of routines the family studying the Quran together gives them opportunity to talk about it. Children are likely to misunderstand and question various passages and parents can share with them needed insight this will build the ties needed for later communication and can carry over into other areas of life.
Islam and family common references
[1]Family strengths defined http://missourifamilies.org/features/parentingarticles/parenting25.htm
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Lucy Schrader
[2]Islamic Family life reference http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family.html
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Dr. Mir Mustafa Hussain
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Lucy Schrader
[2]Islamic Family life reference http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family.html
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Dr. Mir Mustafa Hussain
Time Together and Routines in Islam
Time Together and Routines in Islam
Everyday routines
“Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well…” “ Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents.”[1]
Spending time together
“Having fun with one's family is related to better outcomes for adolescents.” “Quality time is important for happiness in family relationships.”[1]
The Islamic way of life includes many daily routines. Including praying regularly throughout the day.” Muslims are encouraged to fix their lives around the prayers, like holding off a errand, or rising earlier for the dawn prayer.” http://library.thinkquest.org/05aug/02016/i_daily_life.htm
There are a multitude of other daily habits encouraged within the faith as well distinctly defined family roles. The parents have designated responsibilities to each other and their extended family and in particular towards their children. In turn children are counseled to “Children should be good and faithful to parents, but as far obedience is concerned it is only to Allah” [2]
Children are clearly directed to be mindful of their parents at the same time knowing that they are deemed accountable to Allah for how well they obey.
One additional routine is the study of the Quran. This not only provides further consistency for the family but also an opportunity to spend time together and build a closer relationship.
There are many other ways for a family to spend time together. Among these are a vast number that are nonreligious or even anti-religious. Watching television together or attending a sporting event like football provides opportunities to spend time with friends and family. These activities are needed it is true and excluding the anti-religious they are an important part of actively following a families religion.
Islamic Parents health
Positive mental health in parents
“Children whose parents say that they feel calm, peaceful or happy are more likely than other children to be positively involved…”[1]
Islam encourages parents to have a cordial and harmonious relationship. It does so by declaring that this relationship should be cordial if not ideal from the very beginning. To help maintain this many plans are laid out for dealing with conflicts or disagreements between parents. In addition, conditions for and ways of avoiding divorce are intricately explained.[2] Thus in many ways Islam helps parents to maintain a positive relationship with each other and this contributes to their positive mental health.
A true follower of Islam is able to feel greater peace. In part this is the same as with any belief in a higher power. Believing that somehow or other it will all be o.k. in the end reduces worry and stress allowing the individual to feel at peace.
“Inner peace can only be gained once you submit yourself to Allah …… Allah sends down peace in the hearts of the sincere believers.”
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090331072651AAudGye Posted by: honey 26
It is possible for parents to feel calm, peaceful and happy outside of a religion. One web site contains a section dedicated just to helping people achieve greater peace of mind. Many other sources are available as well. The aforementioned web page contained counsel such as “Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.” This same advice is taught as part of many religious lifestyles. So yes it is possible to have peace of mind outside of a religious lifestyle although it means following an aspect or two of that religious lifestyle anyway. http://www.successconsciousness.com/peace_mind.htm
Atheism and the Family
Conclusion
Atheism encompasses the alternative to religious lifestyle in a family. While it can offer activities to fulfill any of the superficial needs of a successful family, the stance it takes by denying universal religious precepts is inherently contrary to the needs of a strong family. While atheism declares little as a common doctrine, the common doctrine of disbelief contains deep enough implications to invalidate either passive (“weak”) atheism or active (“strong”) atheism as a sensible alternative to religion as a family lifestyle. The precepts of a successful family that have been so far considered, mental health, the need of a child for structure and routine, time spent together as a family, involvement with the children, and warm relationships, each require that atheists step away from the core themes they proclaim to follow. These elements of a successful family are founded on the deeper concepts of faith and humility that do not fit within the natural atheist mindset.