Islam is unfortunately linked to violence in some people’s minds. A large degree of violence in any form is a major weakening factor for any family. Violence even supersedes or prevents the majority of the six indicators of family strengths discussed in relation to Islam. Fortunately, violence is not a part of true Islam. Yes, Islam does teach protecting ones family forcefully if necessary and other things that may be connoted as violent, however terrorist activities such as suicide bombings don’t stem from the true following of these teachings. An excellent discussion of this was presented by HARUN YAHYA in his article entitled “Islam is Not the Source of Terrorism, But it’s Solution”
“In the Western world today, there are still cruel, mischievous and opposing elements as well as a culture dominated by peaceful and just elements that have its roots in Judeo-Christian faith. As a matter of fact, the main disagreement is not between the West and Islam. Contrary to the general opinion, it is between the religious people of the West and of the Muslim world on the one hand, and the people opposing religion…” http://www.islamdenouncesterrorism.com/mainarticle.html
Islamic parental Supervision and Support
Monitoring, supervision, and involvement
“When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.”
Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
“Adolescents with these types of relationships are less likely to be suspended from school, are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems, and are less likely to abuse substances.”[1]
Islam directs parents to help their children achieve their potential. “It is the foremost duty of parents to arrange…….. so that they[their children] grow satisfactorily, develop their potential, express their abilities, become virtuous human being, a good citizen, and an ideal member of the society” http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family2.html To follow through with their duty to help their children express their abilities a parent would of course need to support the expression of those abilities. To insure that their children become virtuous beings the parent would be involved in the child’s life monitoring how they behave so as to be able to determine where they need to encourage them more.
Any child would appreciate having supportive parents. As many non-religious parents are supportive what difference does it make whether a family is religious or not? This topic alone could be discussed in great length. One reason that the religious involvement helps more is that the parents in turn have a support network within the religion and have been show by example how to be supportive. And although it is also true that some religious families aren’t supportive for the most part these aren’t fully living their religion.
“When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.”
Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
“Adolescents with these types of relationships are less likely to be suspended from school, are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems, and are less likely to abuse substances.”[1]
Islam directs parents to help their children achieve their potential. “It is the foremost duty of parents to arrange…….. so that they[their children] grow satisfactorily, develop their potential, express their abilities, become virtuous human being, a good citizen, and an ideal member of the society” http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family2.html To follow through with their duty to help their children express their abilities a parent would of course need to support the expression of those abilities. To insure that their children become virtuous beings the parent would be involved in the child’s life monitoring how they behave so as to be able to determine where they need to encourage them more.
Any child would appreciate having supportive parents. As many non-religious parents are supportive what difference does it make whether a family is religious or not? This topic alone could be discussed in great length. One reason that the religious involvement helps more is that the parents in turn have a support network within the religion and have been show by example how to be supportive. And although it is also true that some religious families aren’t supportive for the most part these aren’t fully living their religion.
Communication in Islam
Communication and praise
“Positive communication (being warm, respectful and interested in a child's opinions) is associated with the well-being of children.”
“Adolescents who have parents that use praise and who go to their parents for advice are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems.”[1]
Studies have demonstrated that there is a strong link between religion and family. Part of a larger UNC-based National Study of Youth and Religion, revealed significant statistical links between religion and family ties. http://www.unc.edu/news/archives/may03/smith050703.html The report for this study goes on to explain many positive effects of religion. Communication in family is heavily dependent on family ties. A family that is tied together in their faith have additional opportunities to talk with one another. In addition to the matters of their everyday lives that they have to talk about there is the mutual topic of their common faith. As mentioned elsewhere when talking of routines the family studying the Quran together gives them opportunity to talk about it. Children are likely to misunderstand and question various passages and parents can share with them needed insight this will build the ties needed for later communication and can carry over into other areas of life.
Islam and family common references
[1]Family strengths defined http://missourifamilies.org/features/parentingarticles/parenting25.htm
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Lucy Schrader
[2]Islamic Family life reference http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family.html
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Dr. Mir Mustafa Hussain
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Lucy Schrader
[2]Islamic Family life reference http://www.islamawareness.net/Talaq/family.html
Last accessed June 15th 2009 Author Dr. Mir Mustafa Hussain
Time Together and Routines in Islam
Time Together and Routines in Islam
Everyday routines
“Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well…” “ Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents.”[1]
Spending time together
“Having fun with one's family is related to better outcomes for adolescents.” “Quality time is important for happiness in family relationships.”[1]
The Islamic way of life includes many daily routines. Including praying regularly throughout the day.” Muslims are encouraged to fix their lives around the prayers, like holding off a errand, or rising earlier for the dawn prayer.” http://library.thinkquest.org/05aug/02016/i_daily_life.htm
There are a multitude of other daily habits encouraged within the faith as well distinctly defined family roles. The parents have designated responsibilities to each other and their extended family and in particular towards their children. In turn children are counseled to “Children should be good and faithful to parents, but as far obedience is concerned it is only to Allah” [2]
Children are clearly directed to be mindful of their parents at the same time knowing that they are deemed accountable to Allah for how well they obey.
One additional routine is the study of the Quran. This not only provides further consistency for the family but also an opportunity to spend time together and build a closer relationship.
There are many other ways for a family to spend time together. Among these are a vast number that are nonreligious or even anti-religious. Watching television together or attending a sporting event like football provides opportunities to spend time with friends and family. These activities are needed it is true and excluding the anti-religious they are an important part of actively following a families religion.
Islamic Parents health
Positive mental health in parents
“Children whose parents say that they feel calm, peaceful or happy are more likely than other children to be positively involved…”[1]
Islam encourages parents to have a cordial and harmonious relationship. It does so by declaring that this relationship should be cordial if not ideal from the very beginning. To help maintain this many plans are laid out for dealing with conflicts or disagreements between parents. In addition, conditions for and ways of avoiding divorce are intricately explained.[2] Thus in many ways Islam helps parents to maintain a positive relationship with each other and this contributes to their positive mental health.
A true follower of Islam is able to feel greater peace. In part this is the same as with any belief in a higher power. Believing that somehow or other it will all be o.k. in the end reduces worry and stress allowing the individual to feel at peace.
“Inner peace can only be gained once you submit yourself to Allah …… Allah sends down peace in the hearts of the sincere believers.”
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090331072651AAudGye Posted by: honey 26
It is possible for parents to feel calm, peaceful and happy outside of a religion. One web site contains a section dedicated just to helping people achieve greater peace of mind. Many other sources are available as well. The aforementioned web page contained counsel such as “Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.” This same advice is taught as part of many religious lifestyles. So yes it is possible to have peace of mind outside of a religious lifestyle although it means following an aspect or two of that religious lifestyle anyway. http://www.successconsciousness.com/peace_mind.htm
Atheism and the Family
Conclusion
Atheism encompasses the alternative to religious lifestyle in a family. While it can offer activities to fulfill any of the superficial needs of a successful family, the stance it takes by denying universal religious precepts is inherently contrary to the needs of a strong family. While atheism declares little as a common doctrine, the common doctrine of disbelief contains deep enough implications to invalidate either passive (“weak”) atheism or active (“strong”) atheism as a sensible alternative to religion as a family lifestyle. The precepts of a successful family that have been so far considered, mental health, the need of a child for structure and routine, time spent together as a family, involvement with the children, and warm relationships, each require that atheists step away from the core themes they proclaim to follow. These elements of a successful family are founded on the deeper concepts of faith and humility that do not fit within the natural atheist mindset.
Atheism and the Family
Atheism and the Deeper Needs of a Family
In considering the six constituents of a strong family already considered, atheism would seem to be able to fill in the scheduled blanks that remain when religion is removed. Reason benefits from the attempts of atheism to do so, for in atheism trying to be a religion we strike upon the deeper properties of religion that truly provide the benefits a family needs. Atheism, by its very nature, cannot feign these qualities.
Faith
The fundamental precept of atheism is the denial of faith as a principle. Atheism embraces its notion of science and the empirical method and pronounces it foolishness to believe in that which cannot be seen. This opposes the first precept of most religion, which by definition cannot scientifically and exclusively prove the existence of the power it worships. Dealing with the admittedly incorporeal nature of religious belief, atheism might seem beyond reproof for their desire to rest on visible certainty. Their choice not to believe in a god seems harmless at first. However, the implications are deeper. How can a person who denounces faith in a higher power be believed if he claims capable of placing faith –or trust-- in a fellow human? The human desires and intentions are no more corporeal than any religious claims. And those who are incapable of issuing trust are likely the first ones to admit they should not receive trust. From the moment they leave the womb children trust solely in their parent(s) for survival. What good is a parent who holds this trust in disdain?
Humility
Families function much like the society whose building blocks they are. An effective member of a family must be willing to contribute to a good greater than simply individual welfare, displaying the same sentiment coined famously by John F. Kennedy:
“ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country.”
Likewise the useful family member must be willing to bear in mind the needs of the family. This is nowhere more evident than in the roles of the parents, who could choose to end a family instantly by deciding to withhold the money that puts food in front of the children or pays for their health and education. Children, too, gradually learn the needed qualities of sharing and obedience. Not only are these precepts taught in by many religions; they are necessary to the endurance of any social unit.
Contrast this with atheism. Although the declared religion of the communism that claims equality for all, atheism must needs be fundamentally ego-centric. Without belief in a continuation of life, this life must be the end-all, be-all. Without allowance for long-term consequences for actions, atheism must find ultimate meaning in instantaneous self-gratification at a minimum of cost. This cannot be thought a healthy perspective within a family.
The Need for Unity of Belief
Many atheists are spawned from within the environments of a family of incongruous religious belief (Stokes, 2009). This reveals a truth in the nature of religious practice and the family: in order for the family to benefit from any religious activity it is very important that the activity be uniform throughout the family. Stokes finds that teenage rebellion is a considerable problem in families where parents place higher priority on the religion than on their children. Interestingly, the inverse is not true; parent-child relations are much less strained by children who are more religion-oriented than their parents, at least during the time they spend in the same household.
Atheism and the Family
Atheism for Mental Health and Structured Life
At first sight, atheists have no reason to tie the afore-mentioned six elements of a strong family to religion. What practice can religion provide that the “Free Thinker,” as many atheists like to refer to themselves, can't find an alternative for? If the assumption remains that religion is for the stupid and invites a type of ignorance, it would seem that atheism must be the superior alternative for mental health. To this end medical studies have been conducted, testing the resilience of atheists in critical situations. One such study, examining subjects suffering depression, found that atheists are at considerably more risk to attempt suicide when depressed than are faithful and religious subjects in similarly distressed states (Dervic, 2004). This indicates that atheists may suffer from the absence of context and meaning that religion can provide. While atheists may not reach states of depression more frequently than others, this fact must rule out the possibility that atheism in any way improves mental health.
The structure of organized religion, with its worship services and rote practices, can be offensive to a Free Thinker. Nonetheless, it seems that this is of use to children, who benefit from having set structures in which they can grow. In a presentation given at the 2001 World Family Policy Forum professionals asserted that children have a right to traditions, which will give them depth and perspective to their lives and a cloak of emotional stability (The Howard Center for Family). Atheists who wish to avoid religious traditions will need to draw on family traditions, which likely have roots in earlier religious practices, or create their own observances. In either case it is ironic that the atheist who refuses religious traditions would feel no qualm about peddling traditions of his own.
Atheism and the Family
Atheism for Parents
The connection of religion to family has been well observed in studies; neither seems able to change independent of the other (Thornton, 1985) . For this reason it is important that parents consider the effects of making atheism the religion of the home. While they hope to remove ill effects or beliefs from the household, they cannot help but bring other influences in.
Parents who seek to remove strife from the home might have fled from religiously stifling atmospheres themselves and wish to avoid imposing this on their children. They have a bad taste in their mouth from whatever religion they grew up around. Atheists frequently draw on the example of religious strife throughout the ages as an example that religion is innately bad. If this is mindset of parents, however, they might do well to take a closer look at the facts. Gregory Koukl reveals that for the hundreds of thousands who have died as a result of Christianity, whose crusades and inquisitions are one of the most frequently quoted examples of religious evil, those declaring atheism have been responsible for over 156 million deaths (Koukl, 1994). Many millions of these murders have been committed far more recently than any crusades or witch-trials. Those who use Christianity's darker moments in history as proof of its evil had better think twice on the 390-to-1 ratio touted by those who deny a higher power.
Now, it is silly to use such extreme examples when talking about the individual family. But these are the sort of examples many atheists have used to saturate the American with anti-religious sentiment. Better reasons might be touted by atheists whose qualms are closer to home: hypocritical church-goers in their past, or stifling religious practices in their own childhood. By verbally or practically declaring atheism they are stating that they were personally victimized by someone else's religion and are now enacting a boycott on belief-systems in general. But before the atheist parent blames religion for strife in the world or rebellion in the home they had better consider the whole picture. Just what is religion being replaced with?
Many atheists seem to believe that by replacing belief with disbelief—for, as one journalist put it, this is the only characteristic atheists share in common with each other—they are replacing ignorance with logical certainty. “Strong Atheists” go so far as to decree that teaching children about a god is superstition akin to belief in bogey-men and ghosts. Because atheism is the unspoken norm assumed to provide precious objectivity to modern scientists, many atheists consider it to allow greater room for intelligence. Yet again they seem to ignore the facts of history. Facts such as that the greatest discoveries in history, including the invention of the printing press, the discovery and, later, the founding of America, and the Theory of Relativity, were made by those openly professing their belief in God. Dare they tell Columbus, or Einstein, that religion robs independent thought? Who are they hoping their kids will emulate? No, intelligence is not incompatible with religion.
Atheism and the Family
Introduction: Roots of Atheism
In the beginning, religious lifestyles are avoided for either of two principle reasons. Fault may be found within the doctrine of a religion, offending the intellect of the atheist; or fault may be found with the practitioners. Thus faulted practitioners may be personal acquaintances of the atheist or may be historical fixtures of the sort that implemented Crusades, Jihads, Witch Trials and Inquisitions. Sometimes the latter is also manifest as a simple disdain for the effort felt necessary by Believers. Eventually this decision and feeling is passed on to the children of the deliberately un-practicing atheist and, wittingly or not, atheism becomes the religion of a family. As any religion factors into family life, what are the effects of an atheistic lifestyle on a family?
Mormonism: Warm and Supporting Relationships
Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child
Warm and supporting relationships between the parent and child are necessary for a strong family. Mormonism is a great religion to practice because there is so much emphasis placed on families supporting one another. For example, in 1995, the LDS leaders published a document called The Family: A Proclamation to the World in which this type of support is outlined to its members:
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.[i]
In addition to informing the members about having these warm and supportive relationships, the church will help you achieve it. Each congregation has a Bishop, or leader that is available to give ecclesiastical advice and counseling. This type of loving relationship will be developed as your family spends quality time together during family prayer and scripture study. Children will trust you more because they will get to know you better. As you share activities, like going on the church sponsored father and sons campouts, you will have many opportunities to talk with your children and listen to their struggles.
Mormonism is one of many great religions to practice as a family because it will create a stronger family. With all the benefits that this religion provides, why would you want to try and create a strong family the hard way by not practicing a unified set of beliefs? Mormonism helps your family develop the six characteristics that define a strong family. It may be a huge lifestyle change to start practicing a religion, but the ability to be a strong loving family outweighs any cost.
[i] http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html
Warm and supporting relationships between the parent and child are necessary for a strong family. Mormonism is a great religion to practice because there is so much emphasis placed on families supporting one another. For example, in 1995, the LDS leaders published a document called The Family: A Proclamation to the World in which this type of support is outlined to its members:
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.[i]
In addition to informing the members about having these warm and supportive relationships, the church will help you achieve it. Each congregation has a Bishop, or leader that is available to give ecclesiastical advice and counseling. This type of loving relationship will be developed as your family spends quality time together during family prayer and scripture study. Children will trust you more because they will get to know you better. As you share activities, like going on the church sponsored father and sons campouts, you will have many opportunities to talk with your children and listen to their struggles.
Mormonism is one of many great religions to practice as a family because it will create a stronger family. With all the benefits that this religion provides, why would you want to try and create a strong family the hard way by not practicing a unified set of beliefs? Mormonism helps your family develop the six characteristics that define a strong family. It may be a huge lifestyle change to start practicing a religion, but the ability to be a strong loving family outweighs any cost.
[i] http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html
Mormonism: Monitoring, supervision, and involvement
Monitoring, supervision, and involvement
A strong family is involved with each other’s lives and there is supervision and monitoring. With Mormonism, the parents are able to be involved in their child’s life and make sure they are making the right decisions. But isn’t too much supervision a negative thing because it may push a child away? Children do need room to breathe, which makes Mormonism more appealing because you are not the lone monitor, but rather have many others to help supervise your children. The religion is volunteer based which means that the practitioners have “callings,” or volunteer responsibilities. This is so valuable to creating a strong family because children will have other adults who they can turn to for help and guidance. For example, there is a calling where a man is in charge of the youth group activities for teenage boys. This man will be able to supervise your child and help him make important life decisions. Similar programs are put in place for children and teenage girls. Research has shown that one of the greatest difficulties to having a strong family is divided beliefs. Professor’s Stokes and Regnerus from the Department of Sociology at the University of Texas concluded in their research that “When parents value religion more than their teens do, adolescents tend to report poorer relations with parents.”[i] These youth groups with their additional mentors will help your children discover their own beliefs, and together your family will share not only the same eye and hair colors, but a spiritual knowledge that will create a lasting bond.
[i] http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WX8-4SWXDCJ-1&_user=10&_coverDate=03%2F31%2F2009&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=cb3af825914c7d7daf0dee1c175206da
A strong family is involved with each other’s lives and there is supervision and monitoring. With Mormonism, the parents are able to be involved in their child’s life and make sure they are making the right decisions. But isn’t too much supervision a negative thing because it may push a child away? Children do need room to breathe, which makes Mormonism more appealing because you are not the lone monitor, but rather have many others to help supervise your children. The religion is volunteer based which means that the practitioners have “callings,” or volunteer responsibilities. This is so valuable to creating a strong family because children will have other adults who they can turn to for help and guidance. For example, there is a calling where a man is in charge of the youth group activities for teenage boys. This man will be able to supervise your child and help him make important life decisions. Similar programs are put in place for children and teenage girls. Research has shown that one of the greatest difficulties to having a strong family is divided beliefs. Professor’s Stokes and Regnerus from the Department of Sociology at the University of Texas concluded in their research that “When parents value religion more than their teens do, adolescents tend to report poorer relations with parents.”[i] These youth groups with their additional mentors will help your children discover their own beliefs, and together your family will share not only the same eye and hair colors, but a spiritual knowledge that will create a lasting bond.
[i] http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WX8-4SWXDCJ-1&_user=10&_coverDate=03%2F31%2F2009&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=cb3af825914c7d7daf0dee1c175206da
Mormonism: Communication and praise
Communication and praise
A strong family has good communication and praise. Being an active Mormon will help your family develop these characteristics. The LDS church has several programs which provide opportunities for you to show your approval and praise for children. Starting at a young age, children in grade school can work towards earning religious awards that demonstrate their knowledge and application of gospel beliefs. During their teenage years, the church provides Boy Scouts of America groups where men can work towards earning merit badges. Women also have an award which they earn as they demonstrate values (like faith, virtue, knowledge etc) important to maturing into womanhood. The church holds recognition ceremonies for both of these achievements. Mormonism is such a great lifestyle because by providing these opportunities, positive praise can be expressed. You will be nourishing and strengthening your relationship with your children.
Is practicing a religion the only way to develop good communication and praise? You could still put your kids in Boy Scouts and other extracurricular activities that will result in helping your children know of the love and praise you have for them. However, practicing Mormons enjoy these benefits with little additional cost. You could send your child to a summer camp and end up spending hundreds of dollars. Or, as a Mormon, your child can go to the church sponsored youth camps where they still do extremely fun activities, but without the bank breaking cost. Another benefit to your children is that they will be interacting in these extracurricular activities with children from the local congregation. This will make it easier for them to make friends who share the same religious and moral values.
A strong family has good communication and praise. Being an active Mormon will help your family develop these characteristics. The LDS church has several programs which provide opportunities for you to show your approval and praise for children. Starting at a young age, children in grade school can work towards earning religious awards that demonstrate their knowledge and application of gospel beliefs. During their teenage years, the church provides Boy Scouts of America groups where men can work towards earning merit badges. Women also have an award which they earn as they demonstrate values (like faith, virtue, knowledge etc) important to maturing into womanhood. The church holds recognition ceremonies for both of these achievements. Mormonism is such a great lifestyle because by providing these opportunities, positive praise can be expressed. You will be nourishing and strengthening your relationship with your children.
Is practicing a religion the only way to develop good communication and praise? You could still put your kids in Boy Scouts and other extracurricular activities that will result in helping your children know of the love and praise you have for them. However, practicing Mormons enjoy these benefits with little additional cost. You could send your child to a summer camp and end up spending hundreds of dollars. Or, as a Mormon, your child can go to the church sponsored youth camps where they still do extremely fun activities, but without the bank breaking cost. Another benefit to your children is that they will be interacting in these extracurricular activities with children from the local congregation. This will make it easier for them to make friends who share the same religious and moral values.
Mormonism: Everyday routines
Everyday routines
Everyday routines are another way to strengthen a family, and becoming a Mormon will add structure to your family. Research shows that, “Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well in school and have greater self-control. Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents. They are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs.”[i] What parent wouldn’t want those great outcomes for their child[ren]? Mormons practice something called daily family scripture study and prayer. These are great daily routines because they provide opportunities for family members to develop certain roles. For example, the father who gathers everybody for prayer/scripture study, and the children who follow along and help read. Mormonism is also a great religion because it promotes a strong work ethic. Their own religious text says that they, “[Should] be anxiously engaged in a good cause…”[ii] Children learn to work hard with church orchestrated community service projects. Because Mormonism has such a strong practice of everyday routines, it will create a more unified family.
Aren’t having too many activities harmful to a family because they become too busy? Imagine a mom’s schedule where she picks her child up from school and runs him to his baseball game while the daughter wonders what she is going to do for her science fair project. Next she is at the grocery store, picking up the dry cleaning, and before dinner she has to not only cook the meal, but also make sure the dog is taken care of. After dinner it is baths and story time. How on earth are you to fit all the additional activities which Mormonism provides into your already hectic schedule? Practicing a religion does add more “To Do’s” to that already busy list but those religious activities can be incorporated into the activities you already perform. This way you are still doing the things you love, but with a religious twist you are adding more structure and unity to your family. Take the mom’s schedule described earlier as an example. Instead of looking at the day as a list of errands, the family tries to make the busy schedule an effective use of time by incorporating the Mormon lifestyle. The mother still drops her son off at baseball but they decide to go to the game together as a family for Family Home Evening (FHE) -with the dog. While the son is playing, the family is providing loving support as they watch from the stands. They continue their family night by picking up the dry cleaning and groceries. At home they work on preparing dinner, and use the potato skins and corn husks to start the daughter’s compost pile for her science fair project. They conclude their Family Home Evening with a family prayer. Next it is baths, and as the kids settle into bed, they read together from the Bible. Being Mormon didn’t replace what the family did or make their lives too busy; it added structure and routine which enhanced the strength of the family.
[i] http://missourifamilies.org/features/parentingarticles/parenting25.htm (Accessed June 12, 2009)
[ii] Doctrine and Covenants, section 58, verse 26-24
Everyday routines are another way to strengthen a family, and becoming a Mormon will add structure to your family. Research shows that, “Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well in school and have greater self-control. Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents. They are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs.”[i] What parent wouldn’t want those great outcomes for their child[ren]? Mormons practice something called daily family scripture study and prayer. These are great daily routines because they provide opportunities for family members to develop certain roles. For example, the father who gathers everybody for prayer/scripture study, and the children who follow along and help read. Mormonism is also a great religion because it promotes a strong work ethic. Their own religious text says that they, “[Should] be anxiously engaged in a good cause…”[ii] Children learn to work hard with church orchestrated community service projects. Because Mormonism has such a strong practice of everyday routines, it will create a more unified family.
Aren’t having too many activities harmful to a family because they become too busy? Imagine a mom’s schedule where she picks her child up from school and runs him to his baseball game while the daughter wonders what she is going to do for her science fair project. Next she is at the grocery store, picking up the dry cleaning, and before dinner she has to not only cook the meal, but also make sure the dog is taken care of. After dinner it is baths and story time. How on earth are you to fit all the additional activities which Mormonism provides into your already hectic schedule? Practicing a religion does add more “To Do’s” to that already busy list but those religious activities can be incorporated into the activities you already perform. This way you are still doing the things you love, but with a religious twist you are adding more structure and unity to your family. Take the mom’s schedule described earlier as an example. Instead of looking at the day as a list of errands, the family tries to make the busy schedule an effective use of time by incorporating the Mormon lifestyle. The mother still drops her son off at baseball but they decide to go to the game together as a family for Family Home Evening (FHE) -with the dog. While the son is playing, the family is providing loving support as they watch from the stands. They continue their family night by picking up the dry cleaning and groceries. At home they work on preparing dinner, and use the potato skins and corn husks to start the daughter’s compost pile for her science fair project. They conclude their Family Home Evening with a family prayer. Next it is baths, and as the kids settle into bed, they read together from the Bible. Being Mormon didn’t replace what the family did or make their lives too busy; it added structure and routine which enhanced the strength of the family.
[i] http://missourifamilies.org/features/parentingarticles/parenting25.htm (Accessed June 12, 2009)
[ii] Doctrine and Covenants, section 58, verse 26-24
Mormonism: Spending Time together
Spending time together
Spending time together is another quality of a strong family, and the religious lifestyle of a Mormon revolves around interacting with each other. Being a Mormon is great for spending time together as a family because the Mormon religion has certain activities families do together, outside of the usual watching television or traveling. The church specifically sets apart one night a week (typically Monday) for “Family Home Evening.” You will be able to have this family time devotedly solely to interacting with each other in a fun way. Families typically do activities like play games, go see a movie, or work together on a family project. Imagine the type of love and cohesion that will exist as your family spends more time together creating lasting memories. This religious lifestyle also enables families to spend time together by worshipping each week. Families can sit together in church and learn more about religion in a unified environment. The LDS church is great for allowing families to spend time together.
Spending time together is another quality of a strong family, and the religious lifestyle of a Mormon revolves around interacting with each other. Being a Mormon is great for spending time together as a family because the Mormon religion has certain activities families do together, outside of the usual watching television or traveling. The church specifically sets apart one night a week (typically Monday) for “Family Home Evening.” You will be able to have this family time devotedly solely to interacting with each other in a fun way. Families typically do activities like play games, go see a movie, or work together on a family project. Imagine the type of love and cohesion that will exist as your family spends more time together creating lasting memories. This religious lifestyle also enables families to spend time together by worshipping each week. Families can sit together in church and learn more about religion in a unified environment. The LDS church is great for allowing families to spend time together.
Mormonism: an example of how a religious lifestyle creates a stronger family
“Mormonism is the fastest growing faith group in American history according to U.S. News & World Report, which reports that if present trends continue there could be 265 million members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) worldwide by 2080.”[i] With the growth of this Christian church skyrocketing, many are wondering what makes this faith so popular. As someone who grew up in the Mormon faith, I can promise that having a strong united family is essential to happiness within the home. Mormonism currently serves as the fourth largest Christian sect in America, which begs the question: What are the consequences of being an active Mormon on your family?[ii]
Positive mental health in parents
Research shows that positive mental health in parents creates stronger families: “Children whose parents say that they feel calm, peaceful or happy are more likely than other children to be positively involved in school and less likely to act out or have emotional problems.”[iii] Involving your family with the Mormon faith will make your family stronger because the LDS religion promotes positive mental health through temple worship. Amy, an active Mormon, describes the benefits of temple worship as strengthening her mental health: “I love the temple. I am so grateful that my husband and I were able to be sealed in the temple. Now, I feel like our family is complete. The temple is such a peaceful, beautiful place where you can feel God's spirit so strong.”[iv] Mormons believe that families are eternal, meaning that they will be together in the next life once they are “sealed”, or married for eternity in the temple. This temple worship will help you develop a stronger family because you will have more peace and happiness in your life.
[i] http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/churchandministry/evangelism/mormons_are_fastest_growing_religion.aspx (Accessed June 12, 2009)
[ii] http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1904146,00.html (Accessed June 12, 2009)
[iii] http://missourifamilies.org/features/parentingarticles/parenting25.htm (Accessed June 12, 2009)
[iv] http://hubpages.com/hub/Mormon-sacred-temple-ceremony-inside (Accessed June 12, 2009)
Intro
The following story is from a recent New York Times article:
“IN April, Bob Sweeney’s son, Ryan, 13, suddenly announced he wanted to start going to church. While Mr. Sweeney had been quite religious once — in his 20s he’d taken an oath of celibacy with plans to spend his life as a Roman Catholic brother — he’d stopped attending church 40 years ago, and he and his wife had raised their son without religion.
“I said O.K., fine,” Mr. Sweeney recalled, assuming this was a whim. “We let the conversation end without coming to conclusions or decisions.” But later that week, on the ride home from middle school, Ryan said, “You know what we’re doing this weekend, Dad?” “No,” Mr. Sweeney said, figuring he had forgotten one of his son’s track meets. “We’re going to church,” Ryan said. Several weeks later the whole family was regularly attending church and becoming involved in the congregation Ryan chose. “54 percent of children raised unaffiliated with a religion later choose one — three-fourths of them by age 24. So Ryan’s not the exception; he’s just early.” With so many choosing a religion you may ask the question “What are the consequences of their new found religious lifestyle?”
For the purposes of the discussion here a religious lifestyle means being committed to and following through with a system of beliefs that provides a context for existence. That system of beliefs may proclaim that there is some higher power or force at work in life, that there is a God, or that there are many gods. These beliefs can have a significant effect on families. We will consider the term family to represent one or more parents with children, biological or adopted. To address the effects of a religious lifestyle on a family we will address various aspects of what makes a strong family within three groupings. Many things can affect the strength of a family. “Strengths come from how family members interact with each other, how they treat one another, and what families do as a group and as individuals to support the adults and children in the family.” This is from a university of Missouri informational article based on research from the August 2002 Child Trends Research Brief. Six aspects of what makes a family strong are covered in this article, and we will address these within each of the three groupings. The six aspects are: Positive mental health in parents; Everyday routines, Spending time together, Communication and praise, Monitoring, supervision, and involvement, and Warm and supportive relationships between the parent and child. So, what are the consequences of a religious lifestyle on families? Read on to find out.